"Kindly and gently place the hands"*

When those we love are ill or in trouble we can feel helpless and upset.  Whether it’s a temporary illness like the flu, an accidental injury like a cut hand or a more chronic illness like arthritis, there’s a natural human desire to offer kindness.   When friends suffer serious illness like cancer or a bereavement, we often yearn to help, but don't know the right words to give comfort.  When children are ill or injured it can be particularly heart-rending.  What can we do?

Those of us fortunate enough to have learned Reiki can 'kindly and gently apply our hands' and offer this wonderful healing of life energy.  No words are needed to give and receive comfort.   

In the Reiki story we learn that, after discovering that he could heal himself, founder Mikao Usui was presented with the opportunity to give help young woman suffering with a tooth abscess.  Kindly and gently placing his hands on her face he found that the healing energy that filled those hands was

also beneficial for others, as her pain quickly eased.  So began the healing art of Reiki treatments for other people.    

Shortly after this he was able to treat his friend the abbot of the monastery where he had been studying.  The abbot had arthritis and this time the healing took longer, but was still effective.  Thus Dr Usui learned the difference between treating acute and chronic conditions.

In a similar way my first experiences of how Reiki works was with friends.  The first people I treated were those in the same Reiki class as me.  We met up every Sunday for several months to practice with each other, sharing experiences and reminding each other of the hand positions.  This was my first experience of Reiki community.

I also began to offer Reiki to my family, some of whom were not interested in receiving treatment.  This was disappointing, but a good lesson in the need to respect people's individual choices and not be pushy about what I think is best for them!  Other family members were more open to offer of treatment and I have a particularly vivid memory of the first time I treated my mother.

I didn't have a treatment couch yet, so treated her sitting on her bed.  It wasn't very comfortable, but I was keen to share my new skill with her.  She had a surprising experience because she hadn't told me about her back ache, but felt sensations in her body, after which the pain was gone.  Of course I was delighted that the Reiki treatment helped her feel better.

Simply giving kind attention and placing hands gently where it hurts can bring comfort, but Reiki healing does more than this as we connect that person to an infinite source of life energy through us.  The treatment ritual is also a way of accepting what is, of acknowledging this person in whatever state of being they are in at this moment.  This is a wonderful message to offer, especially if a relationship is strained, as can happen in families. It is also a comfort for us to see the person we care about relax as their suffering eases and possibly drifting off into a healing sleep.

So it is a comfort to me that I have Reiki in my hands so I can place them kindly and gently on family and friends to ease their pain.

*I believe these are words Hawayo Takata used about giving Reiki treatment

Take Care of Yourself

Like many kind and caring people I used to put myself last on the list of people to take care of.  However through my practice of Usui Shiki Ryoho Reiki I've learned how important it is to take care of myself if I really want to serve others. 

I received my first lesson in this when I first encountered Reiki: I had sprained my ankle but instead of taking care of it and resting, I still went and limped through a tai chi class.  My teacher noticed I was struggling  and offered me Reiki.  Although the Reiki felt nice, it was not enough to encourage me take better care of myself.

My second lesson came when my father died suddenly: Reiki was offered to me again and, overwhelmed with grief and desperate for comfort, I accepted.  This time, after receiving a deep feeling of peace from the treatment that comforted me to my very soul, I began to learn to take care of myself by receiving more Reiki treatments.  This helped me to move through my grieving process.  I now see that at that time I was not good at caring for myself - because I didn't think I deserved it - so having someone else to support me who believed I was worth caring about was just what I needed.   Having received such a wonderful experience I chose to learn Reiki, so that I could help others experience the same.

However, my third lesson in self care was that learning Reiki also gave me the gift of healing for myself.  Initially I didn't bother too much about doing this: I was more focused on helping other people than helping myself.  Gradually, however, I began to understand that if I really wanted to benefit others I needed to treat myself.   I established the habit of giving myself a Reiki treatment most days and something began to change: I began to caring enough about myself to place my hands in the various positions to treat my whole being and this enhanced my ability to look after myself in other ways.

Self treatment gives me a daily opportunity to pay attention to what is going on in my body and mind.  Like mindfulness practice it helps calm my mind, but more than that it enables me to tap into the wisdom of my body and intuition.  Our bodies are so wise!  My fourth lesson, after some time of practising self treatment, was that my body sends me messages constantly about what is needed to keep me healthy.   So it was as a result of self treatment I became aware that  sugar was a problem for my body, which led to being diagnosed with type 2 diabetes.

My fifth lesson in self care was that when I listen to my intuition, my body's wisdom and am open to messages coming to me from various sources, it is possible to restore my health and vitality.  As a result I have been able to reverse my diabetes and remain in remission as a result I have more energy and vitality, to offer my service in the world. 

This greater well being from my self care also resulted in greater happiness and I have found that my joy has a positive effect on those around me.  When I learned Reiki all those years ago I never anticipated that the way to truly benefit others would comes from self care.

An Experiment in Reciprocal Exchange

When human beings lived in tribal communities reciprocal exchange was normal: if someone had a need another person would serve to meet that need and in return they would be supported in their own needs to live.  The good of the whole group was served by this kind of exchange.

For example if someone was sick and a member of the group had special knowledge about herbs, or other ways to make them well, they would go to that person and offer healing.  In return the group would ensure that the healer had what they needed to live - food, shelter and warmth.  My father, as a GP, often received gifts from Asian patients because this way of exchanging was so familiar to them and they did not feel they had honoured his expertise without giving something themselves to acknowledge it (including a Labrador puppy my first dog!)

As human society developed, the way we made exchanges changed - money was invented to facilitate exchange because sometimes the service or goods offered were not what the other person needed (my mother was not at all sure about having the dog!).  This has evolved into a more 'transactiona'l exchange - based on expectations of a certain value in return for the money given: "if I give you this much you must give me that in return" and now there's a common desire to get as much as possible by giving as little as possible in return.  This has not been so good at supporting life.

It was therefore normal for me to set a 'fee' for the Reiki Shares, based on what it cost me to offer them and something for my time, balanced with what I thought people would be willing to pay.  In Usui Shiki Ryoho Reiki the element of money is here to teach us about the relationship we have with money and exchange, so when I noticed that I was experiencing discomfort about the money aspect of Reiki Shares i decided I should explore this further.  I found that sometimes I felt resentful about the amount of time I was giving in return for little to support for my living.  It's quite a commitment to do the two shares every month and for Birmingham this involves a lot of traveling time as well as the time holding the circle.   Should I charge more?  Would  more people come if I charged less?  Should I give it up and find another way to earn money?

When I went to the OGM Retreat in Kazakhstan one of the topics of discussion was Reiki and money and we had a very rich exploration of the concept of reciprocal exchange.  I received many gifts from the Russian speaking participants - their way of showing their appreciation for my having traveled so far to be with them (I also gave them gifts in appreciation for the opportunity to be with them!).  I have experienced a few times being invited to 'give what my heart feels' which is one aspect of this.  It always feels challenging but good and I am excited about what it represents as a potential in our world.

I have therefore decided to try an experiment: to offer the Reiki Shares on the basis of reciprocal exchange.  What this means in practice is that you are invited to decide for yourself what you wish to give in return for the Shares.  You are invited to be mindful of the costs and commitment involved and offer something that supports this (if you wish the Shares to continue).  For example in Birmingham the cost of the room is £25, my travel costs £30 and I devote about 6 hours of my time to attend the Share (including travel time). 

So taking this into consideration, as well as your own financial situation you are invited to give an amount of money that you feel in your heart honours what you are receiving and is also in integrity with your own financial situation.   This may not be the same as what you feel you can 'afford' or the fee I have set in the past. 

We are so used transactional exchange and  less familiar with reciprocal exchange, so I'm aware that this is not a comfortable request for either of us: questions like 'will there be enough to pay for the room and my petrol?'  'will I feel valued by what I'm given' circle my head.  You may be thinking 'how do I decide how much is an appropriate amount?  What if I give too little?  What if I give too much?'  So this is an exploration of trusting in reciprocity: that if you value what I am offering the support I need to receive will be there and that whatever you give will be exactly right!

I look forward to you joining me on this adventure!

Reiki for a Kinder World

As 2017 begins I have heard a lot of people expressing unease about what this year may bring.  There are many uncertainties in the world that seem likely to affect the lives of all of us.

I'm very grateful for my Reiki practice at times like these.  The Reiki Principles are like a guiding star to steer me though rough waters.  First there is the suggestion not to worry (just for today).  So rather than focus on what perils may lie ahead, I let go of the anxiety and concentrate on what is right here beneath my hands.  Then I'm encouraged not to be angry - which would be very easy when there is so much apparent disregard for other human beings and often a feeling of powerlessness in the face of world events. 

The Principles also remind me to honour previous generations - as I think of my grandparents I wonder how it felt in 1917 when the war that was supposed to be over by Christmas in 1914 was still going on with appalling suffering and loss of life.  To me honouring our elders means remembering what they went through and learning from their experience.

Being a Reiki master is my work, so the Principle 'Earning your living honestly' encourages me to live authentically.  Deception (including the avoidance of our own truth) always seems to get us into trouble!   There seems to be a lot of fear about the effect the new US President will have on the world once he takes office.  I am not worrying, but commit to making my way in life true to who I am, no matter what happens in the coming days and years.  Like Hayashi Sensei, who made the decision in 1939 that he would prefer to die rather than participate in the 2nd world war as a combatant, I also choose healing and kindness over disregard for fellow human beings and this is something I too am prepared to act on.

The final Reiki principle reminds us to show gratitude for every living thing.  Sometimes this is easy - when it's my dog, my cosy home or garden.  However I've learned that spiritual life isn't about when things are easy: deepening happens when I come up against something part of me wants to reject or ignore.  Likewise it's much easier to disregard those I disagree with, creating separation, than it is to be open to an alternative perspective and look deeper. 

In addition to these stated Reiki Precepts there are also implicit principles in Reiki practice: we offer healing by placing our hands with care upon another person or animal - and hopefully also ourselves.  Our daily self treatment practice is a way of preparing to interact with the world in a calmer state, thereby being less likely to create conflict or violence.  When I offered some distant healing to someone recently for his back pain he thanked me for noticing: offering treatment is also a way of saying to other people: "I see you are suffering - I am here for you". 

So if the current political situation is causing you suffering: Reiki is here for you.  Whether you need a calming space to reconnect with your inner peace or would like to learn so that you can bring more kindness into the world, whether you need support for your practice so that you can make the most of your Reiki or would like to connect with other like minded people: I am here for you. 

I wish you a peaceful, happy and healthy year in 2017.

Exchanging Gifts

Have you been busy shopping for gifts?  When I visited my mother recently  her hallway was full of cardboard boxes from all her online Christmas shopping!  I know it will give her pleasure to give all these gifts. Recently she told me how much she had enjoyed the time when I got to the age when instead of looking forward to what I would get for Christmas I began to be more excited about giving presents. I still love to give, but I realise have more difficulty with receiving.  Reiki has taught me that this is an imbalance and for there to be healthy flow there needs to be giving and receiving.  Have you also been taught that it's more honourable to give than to receive?

I learned Reiki because I wanted to give to others the same wonderful experience as I had received from treatments.  I became a Reiki master because I wanted others to be able to have the same gift in their own hands.  Reiki, therefore, initially satisfied my desire to be a giver more than a receiver.

However, Usui Shiki Ryoho Reiki teaches us that there needs to be a balance of giving and receiving: we receive Reiki energy and give something in return, maintaining the balance of the universe and fostering flow.  This does not necessarily mean that what is received is of equal monetary value.

The real value of a gift is not necessarily a physical object that is given.  One of my favourites episodes of the TV show 'The Big Bang Theory' is where the character Sheldon expresses his dislike of present giving.  He finds out someone is going to give him a gift and feels awkward about finding a gift of exactly the same value to give in return. So he buys lots of gifts of varying values so he can choose which one is appropriate once he receives the gift.  However the gift he is given is a napkin signed by Leonard Nimoy, so has little monetary value but it means a great deal to him in other ways.  So he gives ALL the gifts he had bought in exchange!

Through my Reiki practice I have been challenged to overcome my resistance to receiving and I am learning, through practical experience of exchange for Reiki treatments and teaching, how to give without attachment and to receive without expectation.  I've discovered that when I give as a way to show my gratitude and receive with thanks, there is equal joy in both.

It seems that Reiki wanted to really test me about receiving recently when I decided to ask for support to attend the OGM Retreat: not only did I receive enough money to pay for the trip - thank you so much to all who contributed - but I also received several gifts on the trip, including birthday gifts from the flight attendants on both flights to Almaty!   Sheldon would have been squirming because there was no way to give something back at all!  Among the Russian speaking Reiki people I discovered that giving gifts to visitors is an important part of their culture, so was given a lot of practice in receiving with grace!  You can read more about this in my Almaty blog.

So I wish you joy in giving and receiving gifts over Christmas and in the New Year.

Thank You Martha

On 1st November 1991 Alec and I were initiated as Reiki masters by Martha Sylvester.  I'd like to tell  you Martha's Reiki story.

Martha came across Reiki while she was at a Siddha yoga ashram in India.  She was considering

Martha Sylvester

going home because the climate did not agree with her.  Then she found a leaflet about Reiki in the Ashram clinic.  One sentence jumped out at her: "The Healer will be healed by using this energy".  This appealed to Martha because she had found she became drained when giving massage.  So she began looking for the person who had put the leaflet there. 

The next day a friend of hers, who was also interested in learning Reiki, came up to her and said: "You'll never guess what: there's a Reiki master in my dormitory!".  This Reiki master turned out to be Wanja Twan, a master initiated by Hawayo Takata.  So Martha went up to her and asked to learn Reiki.

Unfortunately Wanja was coming to the end of her stay, so she told Martha that there was not enough time for her to teach her Reiki.  Looking at Martha she could tell that she was unwell, so asked her to wait in her room and she would come and give her some treatment.  She said she might not be able to come, but that Martha should wait for her anyway.

So at the time they had agreed Martha waited.  Wanja didn't come, but at the appointed time Martha felt a wave of energy go through her.  She slept very well that night and the next day felt much better.  When she saw Wanja that morning  Martha asked if she had sent her Reiki, which Wanja confirmed she had.

Martha was even more keen to learn, so it was agreed that if Martha had enough people for a class when Wanja was next travelling via London to visit her relatives in Sweden, she would stop over for a few days and teach 1st degree Reiki.  In fact Martha felt so much better she ended up staying even longer in India than she had first planned!  When she eventually returned to London she persuaded as many friends as possible to join the 1st degree class and later that year was initiated into 1st degree Reiki.

She subsequently took 2nd degree and then became a master in 1985.  She began teaching Reiki alongside her Monday to Friday job, but soon found she needed to give up her conventional work to devote her time to teaching Reiki.  She travelled a lot to teach in those years, including to Birmingham which is where I met her in 1989.  That same year she was told by Wanja to begin making her own masters, which may explain why Alec and I were invited to begin our master preparation in 1990. 

Martha is a founder member of The Reiki Association, established in 1991 and continued to be an active member of the community for many years.  However I think she felt that I could carry this on on her behalf and has always been very supportive of my community activities.

She still gives the occasional treatment and teaches a few people, but these days is happy exploring other creative pursuits such as painting and singing.

Martha has always been an inspiration to me with her grounded spirituality and I am deeply grateful to her for enabling me to be a Reiki master.  Thank you Martha: I am honoured to be your student!