My Father was a Healer

As it was Father’s Day this month, I thought I would write about my father, who was an NHS GP and psychiatrist working in Coventry.  In many ways he was ahead of his time in his
approach.  He knew that people’s thinking affects their health generally.  He would have approved of the movement for Social Prescribing, started by another GP, Dr Michael Dixon, who saw that those who repeatedly attend the GPs surgery often have some social need, such as loneliness or poor diet, so that other solutions are needed to support them, rather than the pill they are asking for. 

My Dad also knew that medication was not always the answer.  Sometimes he would prescribe Smarties – to be taken 3 times a day – because he understood that the ritual of taking ‘medication’ could be as powerful as the actual medication.   He also foresaw the danger of antibiotic misuse and has been proved right, with anti-biotic resistant bacteria and the potential damage to the gut bacteria, the general health consequences of which are only now being fully understood.

Dr Dixon has written² about his concerns about the decline in a human approach to medicine as technology has increased and doctors and nurses have become busier and forced to follow systems that reduce time spent with patients, impacting how they can care for them as individuals.  There is research that shows the benefit of this listening and care to patients¹ and current NHS systems often don’t allow time for this. 

My Dad certainly understood the need for listening to people and that’s why I think he was more than a doctor, he was a healer.  He was famously late for family appointments – if he was supposed to be somewhere at a certain time you could add half an hour before he would get there.  The reason for this was his care for patients.  He found the 10 minutes allocated for surgery consultations too short and, in those days, doctors still frequently did home visits to their own patients after hours.  A friend recently commented that he was asked why he still needed to visit when the patient had died, his response being that the family still needed support.

He had a particular interest in helping people recover from drug addiction, helped to set up medical services for students in Coventry and did training for the Samaritans, in particular the Festival Branch which was one of the ways of getting in touch with people having drug problems.

Sadly, he died before I learned Reiki.  I asked my mother what he would have thought about it.  She said he would have been interested, because he sometimes went to a spiritualist church where they did healing.  I agree with her, not just for that reason, but also because he was a doctor who did more than analyse symptoms and dispense treatment.  He tried to understand the needs of each person, taking a holistic rather than mechanical view.  He understood, as we do in Reiki, that the underlying cause of physical illness lies on the mental and emotional levels and that effective healing addresses these as well.  He also understood the importance of touch and spirituality.  I think he would have been supportive of the movement towards integrative health which Dr Dixon is at the forefront of and which I hope Reiki will be part of.  

¹ Neurophysiology of human touch and eye gaze in therapeutic relationships and healing: a scoping review https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6382052/

² The Human Effect in Medicine: Theory, Research and Practice by Dr Michael Dixon

Deep Peace

 Recently I helped to host The Reiki Association’s Global Reiki Lights Festival which this year was, of course, online.  We spent a lot of the time together in silence and I was touched by how many people commented on the sense of connection and community even though we were physically far apart. 

Reiki, in these moments of stillness and quiet, gave us this connection.

For many, this Christmas has the potential to be quieter because there will not be the usual large social and family gatherings.   Although some will find this sad, others may find it a relief.  It offers time for quiet rest without expectations from the outside world.

It has been the still, quiet times that have helped me get through the past year, with all its challenges.  My daily walks in Nature, the meditative quality of sending distant Reiki treatments, the restful times receiving Reiki through distant treatment or self-healing have all been times that helped bring calm in spite of the inevitable stress resulting from the Covid-19 pandemic. 

Some nights, especially during the first lockdown, I was unable to sleep or disturbed by vivid dreams which left me feeling tired and anxious.  After making a conscious and deliberate effort to relax and re-connect with my inner peace, sleep came more easily and was restful, giving me more energy to offer my support to others.  In those quiet times I also found it easier to accept the difficult changes and restrictions placed on life by the pandemic.

Recognising this reminded me of the first time I received a full Reiki treatment shortly after my father’s death.  His death was unexpected, so – like Covid – was a shock.  It was the first major loss in my life and I felt overwhelmed by the emotions of grief.  I experienced the classic denial, depression and anxiety – just as many have during this past year.  The peace of mind that I experienced as a result of that first Reiki treatment was also completely unexpected and felt miraculous.  After weeks of agitation and lack of sleep, I felt relaxed and calm.  The fact that I experienced the same peace through the treatments week after week amazed me even more and helped me to move through the grieving process to acceptance and emerge stronger and with a lasting passion for Reiki!  

It reminded me of an experience of deep peace I had as a child one Christmas.  I was walking home from school, where we had been making Christmas decorations, and it was cold and frosty.  I was looking at the sparkle of the frost on the pavement and was filled with joy.  It was not an easy time in my family, my parents having just separated, and yet here was a sense of peace that helped me to feel that all would be well.

This quality of peace of mind, of relaxation and joy even in the midst of difficulties, of comfort and a feeling of safety, is something that is not unique to Reiki.  It is most often experienced through spiritual practice of some kind, but Reiki practice is the easiest and fastest way to access it I know, so I am grateful to have discovered it!

Christmas is a time when thoughts often turn peace on earth – even the First World War was paused at Christmas.  Some difficulties cannot be paused, however much we might wish them to be.  In those circumstances we need something to remind us that peace and joy are always with us if we can relax, be still and listen inwardly.  Offering kindness to others is another way to experience these peaceful feelings and this year has offered many opportunities for many small but significant acts of kindness and comfort in support of our neighbours and wider community.

If you have experienced grief and loss this year, I wish you peace this Christmas and may the New Year bring healing and joy.

"Just for Today do not Anger"

I found myself weeping into my lunch as I listened to the news about the bombing of a pop concert in Manchester that had killed and injured many people, including children.  I think it was the injury to those young people and the lasting effects it would have on the lives of many children that particularly affected me.

Over the ensuing days as I heard more reports of how people responded to this event I was further moved by the kindness shown: the people at the scene just after the explosion who offered first aid, the taxi drivers helping people to get home.  One story I heard was of a taxi driver who had been booked to take two children home but he couldn't park near the arena.  He walked to find them, took them back to his cab then drove them safely home.  I heard of other taxi drivers taking people home without charge and of hotels and restaurants offering food and shelter to those who had been affected.  I found this outpouring of human kindness a wonderful response to this awful situation.

When something so terrible happens it is human to react with anger.  The Reiki principles encourage us 'Just for today do not anger', but anger is a normal part of grief, so are we being told not to allow these feelings?  I don't think this is what is meant: I think we are being encouraged to let go of the anger and look at what is beneath it.  My father (a psychiatrist) taught me that beneath any anger is pain.  Reiki has taught me that in grief it can be very difficult to accept that the loss has happened and this denial leads to the pain and anger.  I have learned, through Reiki treatments, to allow the feelings - so my tears when I heard of the bombing were the beginning of healing.

In Reiki healing we understand that the true cause of illness lies at the mental, emotional and spiritual levels.  The young man who carried out the bombing was clearly ill because no balanced and healthy person could kill in that way.  The underlying causes may have been anger that, instead of being healed, was fostered and encouraged by others.  So if I am angry with him and seek revenge in some way I am falling ill, infected with the same sickness.  The Reiki principle 'Just for today do not anger' is the antidote.  Allowing the feelings of pain and sadness under the anger enables me to move through this moment towards healing.

So I have been very impressed with the people of Manchester and beyond whose response in general has not been to hate those responsible for this atrocity, but to offer loving kindness as an antidote.   Perhaps if more love had been offered to the bomber, instead of fostering of his anger and hatred, he might still be alive today with a life to benefit others ahead of him.  As it is he was infected with a terrible illness caused by anger that took his life and that of too many other young people.

Reiki for a Kinder World

As 2017 begins I have heard a lot of people expressing unease about what this year may bring.  There are many uncertainties in the world that seem likely to affect the lives of all of us.

I'm very grateful for my Reiki practice at times like these.  The Reiki Principles are like a guiding star to steer me though rough waters.  First there is the suggestion not to worry (just for today).  So rather than focus on what perils may lie ahead, I let go of the anxiety and concentrate on what is right here beneath my hands.  Then I'm encouraged not to be angry - which would be very easy when there is so much apparent disregard for other human beings and often a feeling of powerlessness in the face of world events. 

The Principles also remind me to honour previous generations - as I think of my grandparents I wonder how it felt in 1917 when the war that was supposed to be over by Christmas in 1914 was still going on with appalling suffering and loss of life.  To me honouring our elders means remembering what they went through and learning from their experience.

Being a Reiki master is my work, so the Principle 'Earning your living honestly' encourages me to live authentically.  Deception (including the avoidance of our own truth) always seems to get us into trouble!   There seems to be a lot of fear about the effect the new US President will have on the world once he takes office.  I am not worrying, but commit to making my way in life true to who I am, no matter what happens in the coming days and years.  Like Hayashi Sensei, who made the decision in 1939 that he would prefer to die rather than participate in the 2nd world war as a combatant, I also choose healing and kindness over disregard for fellow human beings and this is something I too am prepared to act on.

The final Reiki principle reminds us to show gratitude for every living thing.  Sometimes this is easy - when it's my dog, my cosy home or garden.  However I've learned that spiritual life isn't about when things are easy: deepening happens when I come up against something part of me wants to reject or ignore.  Likewise it's much easier to disregard those I disagree with, creating separation, than it is to be open to an alternative perspective and look deeper. 

In addition to these stated Reiki Precepts there are also implicit principles in Reiki practice: we offer healing by placing our hands with care upon another person or animal - and hopefully also ourselves.  Our daily self treatment practice is a way of preparing to interact with the world in a calmer state, thereby being less likely to create conflict or violence.  When I offered some distant healing to someone recently for his back pain he thanked me for noticing: offering treatment is also a way of saying to other people: "I see you are suffering - I am here for you". 

So if the current political situation is causing you suffering: Reiki is here for you.  Whether you need a calming space to reconnect with your inner peace or would like to learn so that you can bring more kindness into the world, whether you need support for your practice so that you can make the most of your Reiki or would like to connect with other like minded people: I am here for you. 

I wish you a peaceful, happy and healthy year in 2017.

"Don't Worry It May Never Happen"

Feeling Calm about the dentist! (Photo Jim Reynolds)

On the wall in my grandparents house was a little wooden plaque on which was written “Don’t worry, it may never happen”.  I remember looking at those words as a child and disagreeing with them: I was going to have a tooth out, so there was no point not worrying about it!  My early experiences of dentistry were pretty traumatic, so the anticipated procedure filled me with dread.

I’m often interested how the same experiences in life are often repeated and understand that when an issue is unresolved it will re-occur, to offer another opportunity for transformation.   So last month I once again faced a tooth extraction.  Co-incidentally I saw recently that my mother still has the little wooden plaque with its suggestion whatever we are worrying about may not happen.  Once again I faced with the inevitability of the tooth extraction, but I’m able to see those words differently thanks to the Reiki Principles and my Reiki practice.  The first Reiki principle is similar to the words on the plaque: Just for today do not worry.

This Principle invites us to be in the present moment, where what we are worrying about doesn’t exist: worries are always about something in the future or past.  Understanding that helps me to see the truth in the statement my grandparents had on their wall: that when it comes to whatever you are worrying about happening, it is most likely that it won’t be as bad as you imagine.  So yes, when I was a child I did have to have the tooth out, but it was less traumatic than I had imagined, I survived and after the visit to the dentist was a visit to the cake shop!

This time I also found that there was no need to worry – with the added bonus that I knew I was receiving a lot of support from my Reiki friends.  Some sent encouraging messages and many were doing distant Reiki treatment for me.  I was surprised to discover that, unlike the previous occasion, my body did not go into shock as a result of the past trauma, which I feel was thanks to the healing from Reiki.  The first Reiki principle helped to remind me to stay present, so I could be aware that the pain was brief and bearable, rather than go into the panic I used to experience in the past.   I realised that previously my fear of the past repeating itself had actually made the experience more painful and traumatic.

The dentist and dental nurse were kind and supportive and, being present instead of lost in fear, I was able to be aware of this.  I received Reiki through-out from my husband and my own hands, which was very comforting.  I think the dentist wondered what I was doing holding the side of my face after the extraction because I certainly wasn’t feeling anything!  What I was doing, of course, was helping the clotting and subsequently I experienced no further bleeding, which I’m sure is thanks to Reiki.

I’m very grateful to everyone for their support and to Reiki for helping me through this challenge.  I now understand the wisdom of the phrase my grandparents held dear, and hope it’s a life lesson learned and I can keep the rest of my teeth!