Letting Kindness In

Before I learned Reiki I was not good at letting kindness in.  I had developed a belief that I needed to be totally self reliant and didn't deserve compassion from others.  On the other hand I craved support and this neediness turned into negative thoughts. I was unkind to myself, deaf to positive comments and heard only heard criticism, which supported my pessimistic beliefs about myself and the world.  This caused me to be unable to notice any kindness that was offered to me.

However practicing Reiki invited me to consider an alternative way of being from the start.  Walking to my 1st degree class I found a wallet on the path and took it to the nearby police station.
 The next day there was a knock at my door.  I opened it to find an elderly man - he was the owner of the wallet and had come to thank me.  He gave me some money and said: "Buy yourself some flowers".  As I had little money at the time I didn't normally buy flowers for myself, but perhaps because I was in the middle of my Reiki course I decided that's exactly what I would do.  So I allowed myself to receive his kindness and the flowers gave me much joy over the next weeks.

I found that Reiki gave me a way to offer kindness that I found enjoyable - giving Reiki treatments.  I had learned that part of Usui Shiki Ryoho tradition is that when Reiki is given, some energetic exchange needs to be received.  So I began to practice receiving kindness in return for the Reiki I gave.  The first thing I received in return for a Reiki treatment was "The Sun In My Heart" by Thich Nath Hanh - a spiritual teacher I have come to admire greatly and who has helped me on my spiritual path.

It was only once I embraced another of Reiki's practices - regular self treatment - that I achieved the next step of releasing the old negative beliefs.  I found that self treating is a way to offer kindness to myself and that as a result of daily self Reiki I've become more balanced mentally, emotionally and physically.  This, I discovered,  benefits those around me too as I felt more kindly towards the world.

Initially I also resisted receiving treatment from others: I can see myself at Reiki Association gatherings saying I had far too much to do as administrator to take part in the Reiki exchanges.  I now see that people wanted to offer the kindness of Reiki to help my stressfulness, but I would not allow it!

Being kinder to myself has resulted in putting less pressure on myself, slowing down and allowing time to listen more.  This enabled me to hear the positive messages and to notice the kindness I was being offered.  I learned to be more appreciative of these gifts of kindness and that gratitude is a key to greater contentment.  I now see that people enjoy offering kindness, especially when it is gratefully received, so I have even learned how to let people know what I need!

I'm grateful to Reiki for teaching me about the balance of giving and receiving so that I now find it easier to let kindness in.   I'm also grateful to everyone who has offered me kindness, whether I was aware of it or not!

Reiki Sharing Groups

At the end of the First degree Reiki class our Reiki master Martha encouraged us to meet with our classmates to exchange Reiki treatments.  For some time after that a group of us would meet every Sunday to share Reiki.  This is something that Reiki students all over the world do and that I continue to offer to my Reiki students.

Not everyone was able to attend each session, but there would always be enough of us to make it worthwhile.  It was lovely to meet my class-mates again; who I had shared the excitement of learning Reiki with, and to take our first steps in giving treatment to others together.

It was helpful in those first months to have each other to remind ourselves of the hand positions and of course we all remembered slightly different things about the class, so it was great to be able to compare notes.

Some of my students also get together in this way and I also run monthly Reiki Shares in Ludlow and Birmingham to offer a space for Reiki students to come together, give each other treatments, be reminded of hand positions and also have time to chat about their Reiki experiences.  I’m always happy to answer questions and share my own experience if this is helpful.

These monthly meetings are open to people who aren’t my students too: either because they have not yet learned Reiki or because they have learned with another master.  People who haven’t learned Reiki clearly can’t participate in the treatments like those initiated into Reiki, but we have a way of including them and they also get a turn on the couch to receive a treatment.  It’s often the first time they have experienced Reiki treatment and it can be quite an amazing experience for people who have not had Reiki before.

Some Reiki students come regularly to the Sharing Group, which creates a feeling of community.  Many people don’t find it easy to talk about Reiki to their friends and family, so it can feel good to be with a group of people who understand and share similar experiences.  Sometimes students feel a bit doubtful about their Reiki ability and by the end of the evening they have usually had an experience that reassures them.

During my Reiki Shares we usually treat in silence.  This can be a welcome rest from the busyness of modern life and gives time for a deeper awareness to arise.  This, I feel, contributes to the sense of connection that many people experience.

In the end the Reiki Shares of my class fizzled out as people got busy with other things.  This often happens with Share Groups because it does require some dedication to keep practising when there are so many other things going on.  This is why I am committed to keeping the Shares going as long as people keep turning up: to create a space that is reliably there for people to connect or re-connect with their Reiki practice.  If you’re in the area you would be welcome!

Have you ever been to a Reiki Share?  Perhaps you go regularly?  What are your experiences?  Please share your comments

My Reiki 25th Birthday!

It is 25 years this February since I learned Reiki (as you probably know already).  I had found Reiki treatments comforting following the sudden death of my father and I loved the feeling of peace of mind it brought me.  I decided to learn Reiki so that I could offer other people the same feelings.   I was taught by Martha Sylvester, one of the first Reiki masters teaching in the UK.  Learning 1st degree class was one of the most special weekends of my life (as many of my students will have heard me say!).

I have been re-reading my diary that I wrote at the time.   It is interesting to see what I thought as a very new first degree student, with the hindsight of so many years and so much experience in Reiki – including of course many years of initiating students myself.

Me around the time I learned Reiki!

 “Friday 3^rd February 1989

I went to the first part of the Reiki course this evening. I have now received the first initiation and it felt like a light or joy coming into me from the top of my head. We actually did our first practice on each other this evening which was good.   Martha told us to Reiki ourselves tonight so I'm sure I will sleep well!”

I remember well the excitement of feeling Reiki in my own hands for the first time and that this was possible on the first evening!  I had forgotten about the feeling of “light or joy” in the first initiation, but this is a feeling I’m very familiar with now when practising Reiki.  

In the following extract you may notice that I received both the second and third initiations on the same day.  This was common practice at the time, when Reiki masters travelled a lot to do classes.  Some of you will remember that’s how Alec and I taught at the beginning too.  Subsequently we were encouraged by Phyllis Furumoto (Lineage Bearer of Usui Shiki Ryoho) to teach over four days.  I was resistant at first (three days seems more ‘convenient’) but having tried it I found 4 days better, giving students more time to integrate the changes that take place during the class. 

“Saturday 4^th February 

I’ve now received the 2^nd and 3^rd initiations and it’s been an amazing day.  We learned the head positions, practised those on each other and in the afternoon learned the positions for the front of the body, so we all got treated twice by 5 people at once!  While I was treating I thought of how much I’d looked forward to this .... it was not only as good as I’d hoped but an even more wonderful experience.

I had different sensations with the other two initiations.  With the second this morning I felt a real warmth rush to my hands.  The feeling of the third was more subtle and hard to describe.  Again it was a kind of joy and opening deep inside.”

I can still remember that rush of heat in my hands during the initiation and many of my students have described something similar.   I have also heard many Reiki students attempt to describe the feelings that arise when learning Reiki: it’s often described it as a feeling of ‘coming home’.

 “Saturday 4^th February (continued)

At the end of  the day Martha taught us the positions for treating ourselves.  Earlier in the day I realised what a wonderful gift I am giving to myself since I will be able to use it to heal myself as well as other people.  I’d always thought that First Degree Reiki was only healing on the physical level, but as I understand it now it works “from the inside out” as Martha put it, the emotional and spiritual is healed as well.  

It’s funny, waiting so long for the Reiki course I’d almost forgotten what it was.  I keep being delighted at what I am now able to do.  I feel my hands becoming hot and know they can heal and it is wonderful.”

I’m interested to note that we were taught self treatment and encouraged to use it – and that it was something I intended to do.  How wonderful that I recognised the gift I had given myself.  However what happened over the next few years was that I became much more focused on giving than receiving, helping others rather than taking care of myself.  As you may know it took a long time for my self treatment practice to become daily.  I’m always delighted when my students come back and tell me they are self treating regularly because now I know how beneficial it is!

“Sunday 5^th February

I woke as if from a nightmare, feeling the new energy trembling in me and at the same time not frightened by the dream. It was this: I was in a place where there was a house a bit like my childhood home.  Then a tremendous wind came.  It started ripping tiles off the roof.  A man (possibly my father) was in the house, dodging the falling tiles.  They were smashing onto the ground all around, but although there were other people there, there didn’t seem to be any risk of anyone really being hurt.  Then, with most of the tiles gone, the chimneys began to fall and the rest of the roof go.  Soon the house was little more than a roofless shell, the wind still ripping it apart.    I told Martha about it today and conveyed my feeling of it being a cleansing wind.  She said it was perhaps breaking down old defences.   She thought it was very positive anyway.

Today I received the fourth and final initiation.  I did not have any very strong sensation this time, was only very aware of what she did, pressing my head, blowing on me etc. although my hands did get hot again.

So I am now certified as having achieved First Degree Reiki.  

I had a very good experience with the treatment I gave today.  At the end of it the bloke jumped off the table and said “You’re so strong!”  He’d had really strong sensations (including fleetingly being in touch with being a kid again!) and felt my hands very hot in some places.  In others he’d felt emotions about to come out.  He was totally bowled over by the experience and it was wonderful to have such a positive response.”

An interesting dream!  It remains vivid and certainly seems to have been connected with learning Reiki.  

Another thing I remember is that when the certificates were handed out, there wasn’t one for me!  I had to pluck up the courage to ask for it (I was shyer in those days) and Martha apologised and said she was sure it was significant.  Perhaps it was an early lesson in asking for what I need!

It’s lovely to read again how much I enjoyed giving that treatment – I still experience the same joy when helping people with Reiki treatments, although with many years’ experience I think I’m better at getting less over-involved now!

Thank you, thank you, thank you: to Alec for introducing me to Reiki, to Martha for teaching me Reiki and to myself for deciding to learn!

I’d love to hear your own experiences of learning Reiki.  Did you keep a journal at the time too?  Did you have any similar experiences?