Reiki at a time of Loss

Some of you will remember my lovely Welsh Springer Spaniel Ruby, who often accompanied me to Reiki Shares and was around if you came to our home for a Reiki event.  Sadly, she came to the end of her life last month.

She brough great joy to my life, being a kind and gentle dog who was also lively and fun to be with on
walks.  She came to us at the age of 9, having been my sister’s dog. Having known her since puppyhood and always thought she was a beautiful dog, I was thrilled to take her on when she could no longer stay with my sister.  I thought she might only share our lives for a year or so, but she lived for another 7 years! 

Being one of those dogs who always wanted to be with you, she was good company when I was working in my office at home.  She didn’t like being left alone, however, and I’m grateful to those Reiki friends who helped out looking after her when I needed to go and do treatments and classes.

She was very dear to me, so when she died, I entered a grieving process.  I am grateful that I am already familiar with the process of grieving – it was my father’s sudden death that brought me to Reiki.  I am therefore able to recognise the signs and understand what is happening.  I have learned, through Reiki practice, that the healthiest way to go through the difficult emotions like grief is not to try to deny the feelings or pretend all is well when it isn’t. 

So instead, I allowed myself to cry and was compassionate with my anger and lack of zest for life.   I gave myself lots of Reiki (especially the heart area).  I have also learned that when you grieve for one thing, any un-processed grief from the past can also surface for acknowledgement, so I also grieved the many losses of this past year, which I had felt deeply but pushed aside to be able to get on with life.  So I cried for all the people who have died from Covid and their families, for the loss of ‘normal life’, for the sadness of not being able to teach Reiki in person, give hands on Reiki treatments, sing with other people or go on holiday to the seaside.   This loss also coincided with the second-year anniversary of the time I was in Arizona with Phyllis when she was dying of cancer, so I cried some more about that too.   It has felt very healing to allow these tears.

I also reached out to receive Reiki, because I knew it would comfort me and support my grieving process.  I have been receiving daily Reiki distant treatments from one of my students and some days an extra one from others (you can never have too much Reiki!), which I definitely feel has helped me to move through this difficult time.  I cry less now, although I still miss Ruby (and Phyllis and my students and choirs). 

I know that this pandemic has caused a lot of loss, but I have learned about grief and loss that it is a natural part of human life and that when we are able to get through it, we emerge stronger, often with a deeper appreciation for life and the gifts we have, as well as gratitude for what is gone. 

Preparing like Janet Baker!

Some time ago I watched a documentary about singer Dame Janet Baker.  I was struck by the preparation she put into her singing.  I believe her focus and dedication to preparing her music is one of the things that made her such a great singer.  I have found that preparation is valuable in Reiki practice too.

 I’ve not always been good at preparation, perhaps because I didn’t really understand its importance.  I am regularly try to do more than there is time for, so often haven’t allowed enough time for preparation.  When I wanted to learn Reiki, I was impatient to get started.  Part of the preparation for learning Reiki is to have the money available, to show a commitment to the Reiki teaching.  This I had put aside, but the Reiki master I wanted to learn with wasn’t teaching a class for months.  I was willing to wait because I was so keen to learn with her.  This was also preparation as I surrendered the timing that was my teacher’s (and perhaps Reiki's), not mine!

 Being an enthusiastic student, I took my 2^nd degree just three months after 1^st degree.  I have often seen this eagerness in students in those first months and have observed that those who wait until after three months have has passed, enjoy a deeper experience of the 2^nd degree class.  Practicing for longer is good preparation for what this next stage of learning offers.  I have seen how students connect with and understand the concepts and practice more quickly because it resonates with their experience, rather than just ideas they have heard.  I sometimes feel a little envious of their preparation!  In effect I had to do the preparation afterwards, which meant it was a couple of years before I really began to develop my 2^nd degree practice.

In those early years of my Reiki practice, I also began offering treatments in a complementary health clinic.  I was doing team treatments with a more experienced practitioner and thought I was ready to ‘go public’.  Again, my eagerness to give Reiki treatments outweighed the recognition of my unpreparedness: I didn’t know what I didn’t know!  I learned a lot through those treatments but ultimately the public practice did not take off and now I think that was because I wasn’t properly prepared.  I learned even more about how much more I needed to learn by participating in discussions about the qualities expected of a Reiki practitioner working with the public through The Reiki Association and Reiki Council.

The current situation has forced a pause in teaching classes and in-person treatments which can be seen as an opportunity to prepare.  Like Dame Janet Baker we have the opportunity to just practice, or to deepen our knowledge and understanding through other explorations.  Those who are keen to learn Reiki can practise by receiving treatment.  Those waiting to progress to 2nd degree can prepare by self-treatment practice and treating family and friends in their bubble.  Practitioners who are eager to begin or return to hands on treatment practice once this is safe, can deepen their understanding through similar practice, or by learning more about some of the theoretical aspects such as what society expects of practitioners in terms of legal requirements, appropriate presentation and preparation of the treatment space - something that has had to be updated in response to the coronavirus.

I have learned about the importance of allowing time to prepare, so this enforced pause has been in some ways a blessing.  30 years on I am still learning and preparing for the year ahead - whatever it may bring.