"Just for Today do not Anger"

I found myself weeping into my lunch as I listened to the news about the bombing of a pop concert in Manchester that had killed and injured many people, including children.  I think it was the injury to those young people and the lasting effects it would have on the lives of many children that particularly affected me.

Over the ensuing days as I heard more reports of how people responded to this event I was further moved by the kindness shown: the people at the scene just after the explosion who offered first aid, the taxi drivers helping people to get home.  One story I heard was of a taxi driver who had been booked to take two children home but he couldn't park near the arena.  He walked to find them, took them back to his cab then drove them safely home.  I heard of other taxi drivers taking people home without charge and of hotels and restaurants offering food and shelter to those who had been affected.  I found this outpouring of human kindness a wonderful response to this awful situation.

When something so terrible happens it is human to react with anger.  The Reiki principles encourage us 'Just for today do not anger', but anger is a normal part of grief, so are we being told not to allow these feelings?  I don't think this is what is meant: I think we are being encouraged to let go of the anger and look at what is beneath it.  My father (a psychiatrist) taught me that beneath any anger is pain.  Reiki has taught me that in grief it can be very difficult to accept that the loss has happened and this denial leads to the pain and anger.  I have learned, through Reiki treatments, to allow the feelings - so my tears when I heard of the bombing were the beginning of healing.

In Reiki healing we understand that the true cause of illness lies at the mental, emotional and spiritual levels.  The young man who carried out the bombing was clearly ill because no balanced and healthy person could kill in that way.  The underlying causes may have been anger that, instead of being healed, was fostered and encouraged by others.  So if I am angry with him and seek revenge in some way I am falling ill, infected with the same sickness.  The Reiki principle 'Just for today do not anger' is the antidote.  Allowing the feelings of pain and sadness under the anger enables me to move through this moment towards healing.

So I have been very impressed with the people of Manchester and beyond whose response in general has not been to hate those responsible for this atrocity, but to offer loving kindness as an antidote.   Perhaps if more love had been offered to the bomber, instead of fostering of his anger and hatred, he might still be alive today with a life to benefit others ahead of him.  As it is he was infected with a terrible illness caused by anger that took his life and that of too many other young people.

Sharing the Wonder

Receiving Reiki treatments after my father's death inspired in me a desire to offer the same experience to other people.  I had never thought of being a practitioner of any kind: at the time I was running a theatre company, directing and secretly still wishing to be an actor!  However there was something about Reiki that touched me deeply and I wanted to share it.

So I was delighted to be giving my first full Reiki treatment to someone outside my immediate circle of family and friends just a couple of weeks after taking the 1st degree class and  I have been giving Reiki treatments ever since.  In those early days I didn't know how much I didn't know!  I naively thought that having completed 2nd degree I was fully prepared for working with the public.  Now, after over 25 years of experience, I have a different perspective.  However my fundamental wish to share the wonder of Reiki with others hasn't changed.

Reiki Master Kate Jones giving Reiki treatment

Giving Reiki treatments, I have found, can bring much joy.  I have recently been reading "The Book of Joy" which is based on conversations between His Holiness the Dalai Lama and Bishop Desmond Tutu.  They express the belief that humans are fundamentally good and that showing our compassion for others is the best way to a happy life.  Seeing Reiki treatments as a way to offer service, one of the fundamentals of a spiritual life in many traditions, has taken my practice deeper and brought more happiness and satisfaction to my life.

Treating family and friends can offer this sort of practice, but I have found that offering Reiki treatments to people I don't know is even more profound.  In the early days, treating strangers for the first time, I discovered that although I didn't like everyone who came for Reiki, something happened during the Reiki treatment that resulted in me having compassion for them no matter who they were.  I believe that Reiki creates a field of grace, in which there is no judgement and where connection in our essential humanity is natural.  This grace creates a space for their physical, mental and spiritual healing.  To be a part of this miracle still moves me.

I have been involved for many years in helping to set standards for Reiki practitioners who wish to offer public treatments.  I am interested in seeing other practitioners be successful in offering Reiki treatments, so that more people can benefit from Reiki.  This means ensuring that those receiving Reiki treatment are honoured and respected, that practitioners maintain their integrity and can offer Reiki in a supportive and comforting way.  Although this may seem to impose restrictions, I see this as a way for practitioners to explore their practice more deeply, because challenges can inspire personal and spiritual growth.

So if you have learned Reiki and would like to deepen your Reiki practice I would suggest that there is nothing better than becoming a public practitioner.  Sharing the wonder of Reiki in a way that will be recognised by wider society as being responsible and ideally professional can benefit you and those you treat.  It can be a wonderful way to give service in the world that can enhance our quality of life: offering comfort and kindness to strangers can bring joy to the giver as well as the recipient.

Needing To Pause

Life can be constantly busy and this can become overwhelming.  One of the beautiful gifts I have received from my Reiki practice is a way to pause.

I have learned that pauses are necessary for my well being.  For example last month 3 lovely Reiki friends died, all kind generous people, none of whom were old.  Reiki has taught me that when faced with loss like

Gwen, one of my lovely friends who died recently

this I move through the grief more easily when I pause and allow time to feel the sadness and ponder the memories.

There is a well known saying "Keep calm and carry on" which is a typically English approach to challenging situations.  Perhaps this is why so many of us ignore things that are difficult in our lives and, rather than give ourselves time to allow the feelings, 'carry on regardless'.  However what Reiki teaches me is that those feelings don't disappear because I ignore them.  They are still there and if I don't deal with them may become overwhelming at an inappropriate moment or cause imbalance that results in physical illness.

I know that when I used to go down with the flu it was usually because there was something I was ignoring.  Keeping something out of mind is stressful, which depletes the immune system and makes me more vulnerable to illness.  The resulting flu is nature's way of giving me an enforced pause!

What I try to do these days is to avoid this sort of collapse by making space for pauses in my life, dealing with the causes of difficult feelings if there's something that needs to change, or simply allowing things to be as they are if it isn't.  Pauses are also important for the integration of something new I'm learning.  When I learn a new song I know it will work it's way into my memory after I stop singing it.

Reiki practice offers several ways of having a pause.  For those initiated into Reiki the self treatment can be a daily pause: at the start of the day it can be a useful way of not rushing headlong into everything that I need to do.  Instead I pause, reflect and tune in to my body.  During this time I can become aware of intuitions about what nutritional needs my body has.  A self treatment during the working day is a good way to pause and become calm before carrying on!  As Leonardo De Vinci said: "Every now and then go away and have a little relaxation. For when you come back to your work your judgement will be surer."

Receiving a Reiki treatment from someone else (whether or not you are initiated into Reiki) is also a wonderful way to pause for a while from a busy life.  Like the Japanese Tea Ceremony - where "participants withdraw from the stresses of daily life to the peaceful setting of a special tea room" - a Reiki treatment offers time out where the recipient can experience a state of peaceful relaxation.   In the gentle hands of a good practitioner, you are held in a time of non-doing, a pause from responsibilities, a time to see what is really going on and to let go of what is not helpful.

As the Easter holiday approaches I wish you time for a pause, for reflection and for re-connection with yourself and those closest to you.

"Kindly and gently place the hands"*

When those we love are ill or in trouble we can feel helpless and upset.  Whether it’s a temporary illness like the flu, an accidental injury like a cut hand or a more chronic illness like arthritis, there’s a natural human desire to offer kindness.   When friends suffer serious illness like cancer or a bereavement, we often yearn to help, but don't know the right words to give comfort.  When children are ill or injured it can be particularly heart-rending.  What can we do?

Those of us fortunate enough to have learned Reiki can 'kindly and gently apply our hands' and offer this wonderful healing of life energy.  No words are needed to give and receive comfort.   

In the Reiki story we learn that, after discovering that he could heal himself, founder Mikao Usui was presented with the opportunity to give help young woman suffering with a tooth abscess.  Kindly and gently placing his hands on her face he found that the healing energy that filled those hands was

also beneficial for others, as her pain quickly eased.  So began the healing art of Reiki treatments for other people.    

Shortly after this he was able to treat his friend the abbot of the monastery where he had been studying.  The abbot had arthritis and this time the healing took longer, but was still effective.  Thus Dr Usui learned the difference between treating acute and chronic conditions.

In a similar way my first experiences of how Reiki works was with friends.  The first people I treated were those in the same Reiki class as me.  We met up every Sunday for several months to practice with each other, sharing experiences and reminding each other of the hand positions.  This was my first experience of Reiki community.

I also began to offer Reiki to my family, some of whom were not interested in receiving treatment.  This was disappointing, but a good lesson in the need to respect people's individual choices and not be pushy about what I think is best for them!  Other family members were more open to offer of treatment and I have a particularly vivid memory of the first time I treated my mother.

I didn't have a treatment couch yet, so treated her sitting on her bed.  It wasn't very comfortable, but I was keen to share my new skill with her.  She had a surprising experience because she hadn't told me about her back ache, but felt sensations in her body, after which the pain was gone.  Of course I was delighted that the Reiki treatment helped her feel better.

Simply giving kind attention and placing hands gently where it hurts can bring comfort, but Reiki healing does more than this as we connect that person to an infinite source of life energy through us.  The treatment ritual is also a way of accepting what is, of acknowledging this person in whatever state of being they are in at this moment.  This is a wonderful message to offer, especially if a relationship is strained, as can happen in families. It is also a comfort for us to see the person we care about relax as their suffering eases and possibly drifting off into a healing sleep.

So it is a comfort to me that I have Reiki in my hands so I can place them kindly and gently on family and friends to ease their pain.

*I believe these are words Hawayo Takata used about giving Reiki treatment

Take Care of Yourself

Like many kind and caring people I used to put myself last on the list of people to take care of.  However through my practice of Usui Shiki Ryoho Reiki I've learned how important it is to take care of myself if I really want to serve others. 

I received my first lesson in this when I first encountered Reiki: I had sprained my ankle but instead of taking care of it and resting, I still went and limped through a tai chi class.  My teacher noticed I was struggling  and offered me Reiki.  Although the Reiki felt nice, it was not enough to encourage me take better care of myself.

My second lesson came when my father died suddenly: Reiki was offered to me again and, overwhelmed with grief and desperate for comfort, I accepted.  This time, after receiving a deep feeling of peace from the treatment that comforted me to my very soul, I began to learn to take care of myself by receiving more Reiki treatments.  This helped me to move through my grieving process.  I now see that at that time I was not good at caring for myself - because I didn't think I deserved it - so having someone else to support me who believed I was worth caring about was just what I needed.   Having received such a wonderful experience I chose to learn Reiki, so that I could help others experience the same.

However, my third lesson in self care was that learning Reiki also gave me the gift of healing for myself.  Initially I didn't bother too much about doing this: I was more focused on helping other people than helping myself.  Gradually, however, I began to understand that if I really wanted to benefit others I needed to treat myself.   I established the habit of giving myself a Reiki treatment most days and something began to change: I began to caring enough about myself to place my hands in the various positions to treat my whole being and this enhanced my ability to look after myself in other ways.

Self treatment gives me a daily opportunity to pay attention to what is going on in my body and mind.  Like mindfulness practice it helps calm my mind, but more than that it enables me to tap into the wisdom of my body and intuition.  Our bodies are so wise!  My fourth lesson, after some time of practising self treatment, was that my body sends me messages constantly about what is needed to keep me healthy.   So it was as a result of self treatment I became aware that  sugar was a problem for my body, which led to being diagnosed with type 2 diabetes.

My fifth lesson in self care was that when I listen to my intuition, my body's wisdom and am open to messages coming to me from various sources, it is possible to restore my health and vitality.  As a result I have been able to reverse my diabetes and remain in remission as a result I have more energy and vitality, to offer my service in the world. 

This greater well being from my self care also resulted in greater happiness and I have found that my joy has a positive effect on those around me.  When I learned Reiki all those years ago I never anticipated that the way to truly benefit others would comes from self care.

An Experiment in Reciprocal Exchange

When human beings lived in tribal communities reciprocal exchange was normal: if someone had a need another person would serve to meet that need and in return they would be supported in their own needs to live.  The good of the whole group was served by this kind of exchange.

For example if someone was sick and a member of the group had special knowledge about herbs, or other ways to make them well, they would go to that person and offer healing.  In return the group would ensure that the healer had what they needed to live - food, shelter and warmth.  My father, as a GP, often received gifts from Asian patients because this way of exchanging was so familiar to them and they did not feel they had honoured his expertise without giving something themselves to acknowledge it (including a Labrador puppy my first dog!)

As human society developed, the way we made exchanges changed - money was invented to facilitate exchange because sometimes the service or goods offered were not what the other person needed (my mother was not at all sure about having the dog!).  This has evolved into a more 'transactiona'l exchange - based on expectations of a certain value in return for the money given: "if I give you this much you must give me that in return" and now there's a common desire to get as much as possible by giving as little as possible in return.  This has not been so good at supporting life.

It was therefore normal for me to set a 'fee' for the Reiki Shares, based on what it cost me to offer them and something for my time, balanced with what I thought people would be willing to pay.  In Usui Shiki Ryoho Reiki the element of money is here to teach us about the relationship we have with money and exchange, so when I noticed that I was experiencing discomfort about the money aspect of Reiki Shares i decided I should explore this further.  I found that sometimes I felt resentful about the amount of time I was giving in return for little to support for my living.  It's quite a commitment to do the two shares every month and for Birmingham this involves a lot of traveling time as well as the time holding the circle.   Should I charge more?  Would  more people come if I charged less?  Should I give it up and find another way to earn money?

When I went to the OGM Retreat in Kazakhstan one of the topics of discussion was Reiki and money and we had a very rich exploration of the concept of reciprocal exchange.  I received many gifts from the Russian speaking participants - their way of showing their appreciation for my having traveled so far to be with them (I also gave them gifts in appreciation for the opportunity to be with them!).  I have experienced a few times being invited to 'give what my heart feels' which is one aspect of this.  It always feels challenging but good and I am excited about what it represents as a potential in our world.

I have therefore decided to try an experiment: to offer the Reiki Shares on the basis of reciprocal exchange.  What this means in practice is that you are invited to decide for yourself what you wish to give in return for the Shares.  You are invited to be mindful of the costs and commitment involved and offer something that supports this (if you wish the Shares to continue).  For example in Birmingham the cost of the room is £25, my travel costs £30 and I devote about 6 hours of my time to attend the Share (including travel time). 

So taking this into consideration, as well as your own financial situation you are invited to give an amount of money that you feel in your heart honours what you are receiving and is also in integrity with your own financial situation.   This may not be the same as what you feel you can 'afford' or the fee I have set in the past. 

We are so used transactional exchange and  less familiar with reciprocal exchange, so I'm aware that this is not a comfortable request for either of us: questions like 'will there be enough to pay for the room and my petrol?'  'will I feel valued by what I'm given' circle my head.  You may be thinking 'how do I decide how much is an appropriate amount?  What if I give too little?  What if I give too much?'  So this is an exploration of trusting in reciprocity: that if you value what I am offering the support I need to receive will be there and that whatever you give will be exactly right!

I look forward to you joining me on this adventure!